Favorite Holowhopper

[offlineCitizenfitz]

Best holowhopper is an old guy reminiscing to a NY Times reporter about his days as prisoner at Buchenwald where, he says, "Every day the Germans threw a Jew into a cage with a bear and an eagle. The bear would eat the Jew and the eagle would pick his bones...." ROTFL!

Break His Bones, p. 109.

[offlineInquisitive]

"Best" holowhopper? 6 million gassed

and I actually bought it!

[offlineMrNobody]

"Best" holowhopper? 6 million gassed

and I actually bought it!

Don't feel too bad, so did 6 Billion others!

[offline Hektor]

Some real classic stuff came from Bradley Smith.

...Keren believes Muller's testimony in Shoah is "rather accurate:" Maybe it
is. On the other hand, who's going to trust a man who "testifies" that he
watched a bucket of human flesh "jump about" on a crematory floor?

Longshoreman and other workers laugh at that kind of stuff and are
contemputous of the professors who would have them believe it.

I'd love to watch Danny Keren down on the waterfront trying to convince
the workers there that he can make a bucket of flesh dance the samba for
them.

On the other hand, the Filip Muellers and Danny Kerens appear to be meant
for each other. They represent two generations of a sado-masochistic cult
that is growing ever more ludicrous in the eyes of the people,
particularly among working men and women.

The Danny Kerens are True Believers. They think jumping buckets of flesh
are everyday happenings. If they'd been raised in Haiti they'd believe
that rocks talk and trees have children. It's simply their personality
type being in the wrong place at the wrong time. There's nothing they can
do about it.

Be gentle with them.

-- Bradley Smith
[....]
re Jeffrey Dahmer cutting up folks and keeping pieces of them in his
refridgerater: I'm not aware that Dahmer, unlike Auschwitz survivor Filip
Mueller, has tried to sell us the story that his fridge could do the
lambada.

That dialogue with the Holocaustians is really funny. Look it up:
http://www.nizkor.org/ftp.cgi/people/s/ ... 94/bs.0994

My compliments to Nizkor for keeping record of this classic stuff.

[offline Roscov]

Arnold Friedman, who escaped the gas chambers at Flossenburg by breathing through the keyhole


Or this: An "eyewitness" stated that the alleged poison gas had a delayed action,
it allowed the victims to leave the gas chambers and walk to the mass graves
by themselves.

[offlineKostasL]

Arnold Friedman, who escaped the gas chambers at Flossenburg by breathing through the keyhole

Ok, i believe this guy having survived the gassing at Flossenburg by breathing through the keyhole.

But what happened when the doors opened and the Nazis saw him alive ?

Let me guess : he pretended to be dead and then after they put him in the ovens he was able to escape like smoke.

And then they claim smoking kills. That's not always true.

[offline Hektor]

Here is another funny one:

What I am about to write you have not heard or read before, as follows: Me and a Jewish American (a watchmaker, passport from the USA) were subjected to medical experiments. SS German Shepherd dogs, belonging to the commander of the SS Obersturmfuehrer Rosenbaum, with a special poison on their teeth … we had to run [and] the dogs had to chase us. Afterwards they examined our wounds, the blood. A doctor … ripped the flesh of my legs and examined it. After some time I was able to escape.

http://www.claimscon.org/index.asp?url= ... se_summary

[offlineCitizenfitz]

I have to admit that Misha Defonseca's story about living with a pack of wolves, and killing with her bare hands a German soldier as he was trying to rape her - when she was all of seven - made me chuckle. Now that was an inspired holowhopper.

[offline ASMarques]

Homosexuals tickled to death by the fun-loving SS, who also immersed their testicles -- the prisoners' that is -- alternately into hot and icy water etc. Also known to Nizkor as the koochy-koochy-koo holocaust:

http://www.nizkor.org/ftp.py?miscellany/homosexuals//homosexual.001
[According to Heger, Heinz. "The Men with the Pink Triangle" (Boston: Alyson, 1980), p.12, a unique memoir of an Austrian who spent six years in Sachsenhausen and Flossenburg, surviving as a lover of camp kapos, and ultimately as one of the very few kapos with a pink triangle.]

"The SS considered it great sport to taunt and torture the homosexuals. The camp commander at Flossenburg often ordered them flogged; as the victims were screaming, he 'was panting with excitement, and masturbated wildly in his trousers until he came,' unperturbed by the hundreds of onlookers. [...] Eyewitnesses tell of homosexuals being tortured to death by tickling, by having their testicles immersed alternately into hot and icy water, by having a broomstick pushed into their anus."

[offlineThesaint]

My choice is the ultra-ridiculous tale of the Treblinka "scheissmeister" who had colourful clothes,a pointed beard,and a clock hanging around his neck.His very important job was to make sure that the inmates completed their calls of nature in the allotted time.

"Come on you there!The tank engine is firing up,and you`ve got to have a fashionable hair cut with Mr Bomba"

[offline ASMarques]

Or this: An "eyewitness" stated that the alleged poison gas had a delayed action, it allowed the victims to leave the gas chambers and walk to the mass graves by themselves.

We should be careful with that sort of argument because it might explain the absence of human remains: the delay may have been so great that the living dead may actually have dug themselves out afterward and walked away from their graves. I've seen documentaries on the subject by a guy called George Romero.

My choice is the ultra-ridiculous tale of the Treblinka "scheissmeister" who had colourful clothes,a pointed beard,and a clock hanging around his neck.His very important job was to make sure that the inmates completed their calls of nature in the allotted time.

Equally memorable was the punishment met to those with gastro-intestinal disorders who couldn't meet the Scheissmeister's directives and were made to walk around in shame with their pants tied at the ankles. Forgot the source for that one, but you get the picture...

[offline Hannover]

In many countries you will be arrested and thrown in jail for finding anything irregular about these "eyewitness" testimonies.

- Hannover

The so called 'Holocaust' / The Theatre of the Absurd

· Mass graves expelling geysers of blood;[1]

· Acid or boiling-water baths to produce human skeletons;[2]

· Injections into the eyes of inmates to change their eye color;[3]

· Production of shrunken heads from bodies of inmates;[4]

· Skimming off boiling human fat from open-air cremation fires;[5]

· Out of pity for complete strangers - a Jewish mother and her child - an SS-man leaps into the gas chamber voluntarily at the last second in order to die with them;[6]

· Soap production from human fat, solemn burial of soap;[7]

· Underground mass extermination in enormous rooms, by means of high voltage electricity;[8]

· Killing in vacuum chamber or with steam or chlorine gas;[9]

· Mass graves with hundreds of thousands of bodies, removed without a trace within a few weeks; a true miracle of improvisation on the part of the Germans;[10]

· Gas chambers on wheels in Treblinka, which dumped their victims directly into burning pits; delayed-action poison gas that allowed the victims to leave the gas chambers and walk to the mass graves by themselves;[11]

· Electrical conveyor-belt executions;[12]

· Cremation of bodies in blast furnaces;[13]

· SS bicycle races in the gas chamber of Birkenau;[14]

· Removal of corpses by means of blasting, i.e., blowing them up;[15]

· Blue haze after gassing with hydrocyanic acid (which is colorless);[16]

· Singing of national anthems and the Internationales by the victims in the gas chamber; evidence for atrocity propaganda of Communist origin;[17]

· Rapid-construction portable gas chamber sheds;[18]

· Killing by drinking a glass of liquid hydrocyanic acid;[19]

· Muscles cut from the legs of executed inmates contract so strongly that it makes the buckets jump about;[20]

· Introduction of Zyklon gas into the gas chambers of Auschwitz through shower heads or from steel bottles.[21]

· The SS made sausage in the crematoria out of human flesh.[22]

· Mummified human thumbs were used as light switches in the house of Ilse Koch, wife of KZ commander Koch (Buchenwald).[23]

. Breathed through a keyhole in a gas chamber door at Flossburg to stay alive, cursed the SS when they opened the door, then ran away. [24]
==============================================
sources:
[1] A. Rückerl, op. cit. (note 141), p. 273f.; E. Wiesel, Paroles d'Etranger, Editiondu Seuil, Paris 1982, p. 86; A. Eichmann, in: H. Arendt, op. cit. (note 179), p.184; B. Naumann, op. cit. (note 142), p. 214.
[2] F. Müller, in: H. Langbein, op. cit. (note 151), v. 1, p. 87; witness Wells in the Eichmann Trial, in: F. J. Scheidl, op. cit. (note 74), v. 4, p. 236.
[3] H. Langbein, Menschen in Auschwitz, op. cit. (note 152), pp. 383f.
[4] H. Langbein, ibid., p. 381.
[5] R. Höß, in: M. Broszat (ed.), op. cit. (note 71), p. 130; H. Tauber, in: J.-C. Pressac, op. cit. (note 17), pp. 489f.; F. Müller, Sonderbehandlung, Steinhausen,Munich 1979, pp. 207f., 217ff.; H. Langbein, Menschen in Auschwitz, op. cit.(note 152), p. 148; B. Naumann, op. cit. (note 142), pp. 10, 334f., 443; S. Steinberg, according to: Französisches Büro des Informationsdienstes überKriegsverbrechen (ed.), Konzentrationslager Dokument 321, Reprint 2001, Frankfurt/Main 1993, p. 206; and many more.
[6] E. Bonhoeffer, op. cit. (note 213), pp. 48f.
[7] S. Wiesenthal, Der neue Weg (Vienna), 15/16 & 17/18, 1946; the Soviets wanted to make this one of the charges at the IMT (exhibit USSR-393), but this plan failed due to the other Allies; cf. H. Härtle, Freispruch für Deutschland, Schütz, Göttingen 1965, pp. 126ff.; the Greenwood Cemetery in Atlanta (Georgia, USA) is not the only site to boast a Holocaust-memorial gravestone for 4 bars of "Jewish soap". Cf. also the following corrections: R. Harwood, D. Felderer, JHR 1(2) (1980) pp. 131-139; M. Weber, JHR 11(2) (1991) pp. 217-227.
[8] Aside from C. Mattogno, op. cit. (note 339), cf. esp. S. Szende, Der letzte Jude aus Polen, Europa-Verlag, Zürich 1945; S. Wiesenthal, Der neue Weg (Vienna), 19/20, 1946.
[9] Aside from C. Mattogno, op. cit. (note 339), cf. esp. W. Grossmann, Die Hölle von Treblinka, Verlag für fremdsprachige Literatur, Moscow 1947; The Black Book of Polish Jewry, Roy Publishers, New York 1943.
[10] Aside from note 349, cf. also W. Benz, Dimension des Völkermords, Oldenbourg, Munich 1991; pp. 320, 469, 479, 489, 537ff.
[11] Reports of the Polish underground movement, Archiv der Polnischen Vereinigten Arbeiterpartei, 202/III, v. 7, pp. 120f., quoted in: P. Longerich, op. cit.(note 271), p. 438.
[12] Pravda, Feb. 2, 1945, cf. U. Walendy, Historische Tatsachen No. 31: "Die Befreiung von Auschwitz 1945", Verlag für Volkstum und Zeitgeschichtsforschung, Vlotho 1987, p. 4.
[13] H. von Moltke, Briefe an Freya 1939-1945, Beck, Munich 1988, p. 420; cf. P. Longerich (ed.), op. cit. (note 271), p. 435; Pravda, Feb. 2, 1945.
[14] Nürnberger Nachrichten, Sept. 11, 1978, report about eyewitness testimony in the jury court trial in Aschaffenburg.
[15] R. Höß, in: M. Broszat (ed.), op. cit. (note 71), pp. 161f.; A. Rückerl, NS-Prozesse, op. cit. (note 127), p. 78; H. Grabitz, NS-Prozesse., op. cit. (note191), p. 28.
[16] R. Böck, Frankfurt Public Prosecutor's Office, Ref. 4 Js 444/59, pp. 6881f.
[17] H. G. Adler, H. Langbein, E. Lingens-Reiner (eds.), Auschwitz - Zeugnisse und Berichte, Europäische Verlagsanstalt, Cologne 1984, p. 76.
[18] R. Aschenauer (ed.), Ich, Adolf Eichmann, Druffel, Leoni 1980, pp. 179f.
[19] Verdict of the Hannover District Court, Ref. 2 Ks 1/60; cf. H. Lichtenstein, op. cit. (note 84), p. 83.
[20] F. Müller, op. cit. (note 345), p. 74.
[21] M. Scheckter and a report of June 4, 1945, written by an officer of the 2nd Armored Division, about Auschwitz; Französisches Büro des Informationsdienstes über Kriegsverbrechen (ed.), op. cit. (note 345), p. 184.
[22] David Pressac, in J.-C. Pressac, op. cit. (note 17), p. 554, fourth column, lines 17-22.
[23] Kurt Glass, New York Times, April 10. 1995.
from: 'Death Was Our Destiny',p.49-50, by Arnold Friedman,
Vantage Press, 1972.
[24] Arnold Friedman, Death Was Our Destiny, Vantage Press, 1972, p.49-50

[offline ASMarques]

· The SS made sausage in the crematoria out of human flesh.[22]

[22] David Pressac, in J.-C. Pressac, op. cit. (note 17), p. 554, fourth column, lines 17-22.

That should be "David Olére" (Pressac's star witness).

More miracles here:
http://www.vho.org/GB/Books/dth/fndvalue.html

Scroll down to "6. Examples of Absurd Claims..."

[offline Roscov]

Or this: An "eyewitness" stated that the alleged poison gas had a delayed action, it allowed the victims to leave the gas chambers and walk to the mass graves by themselves.

We should be careful with that sort of argument because it might explain the absence of human remains: the delay may have been so great that the living dead may actually have dug themselves out afterward and walked away from their graves. I've seen documentaries on the subject by a guy called George Romero.

LOL, I see what you mean. Judging by the amount applying for reparations, that gas did have a very delayed action, and very possibly in the way that you describe.
It would also explain the accounts of cannibalism detailed so wonderfully on UKTV History.

[offlinefriedrich braun]

Out of pity for complete strangers - a Jewish mother and her child - an SS-man leaps into the gas chamber voluntarily at the last second in order to die with them;[6]

This one has always been my favorite whopper. But there are so many...it's hard to chose just one, it's like asking me what's my favorite book?