The Most Ridiculous Testimony

[Callahan]

It seems it would be pretty difficult to fit all of the absurd testimony pertaining to the 'Holocaust' but I think it'd be useful to reconcile some of the most ludicrous claims into one place to paint a clear picture of just how far some individuals have gone to both 'cash in' on and perpetuate this fabricated storyline. Some of my personal favorites would include:

- Irene Zisblatt's touching story of the repeatedly eaten, defacated and re-eaten diamonds that she managed to retain throughout her entire stay in Auschwitz by fishing them out of her feces after each passing.

- When asked how he managed to survive six different Nazi gassings during his internment at Bergen-Belsen, Moshe Peer's perfectly reasonable explanation was: "Maybe children resist better, I don't know."

- The graphic description of 'zombie muscles' by Filip Mueller: "The doctors proceeded to cut pieces of still warm flesh from thighs & calves and threw them into waiting receptacles. The muscles of those who had been shot were still working and contracting, making the bucket jump about".

What else belongs here?

[twila]

Callahan:

What else belongs here?

The last four paragraphs from Yankel Wiernik's - A YEAR IN TREBLINKA

Our objective was to reach the woods, but the closest patch was five miles away. We ran across swamps, meadows and ditches, with bullets pursuing us fast and furious. Every second counted. All that mattered was to reach the woods because the Germans would not want to follow us there.

Just as I thought I was safe, running straight ahead as fast as I could, I suddenly heard the command "Halt!" right behind me. By then I was exhausted but I ran faster just the same. The woods were just ahead of me, only a few leaps away. I strained all my will power to keep going. The pursuer was gaining and I could hear him running close behind me.

Then I heard a shot; in the same instant I felt a sharp pain in my left shoulder. I turned around and saw a guard from the Treblinka Penal Camp. He again aimed his pistol at me. I knew something about firearms and I noticed that the weapon had jammed. I took advantage of this and deliberately slowed down. I pulled the ax from my belt. My pursuer - a Ukrainian guard - ran up to me yelling in Ukrainian: "Stop or I'll shoot!" I came up close to him and struck him with my axe across the left side of his chest. He collapsed at my feet with a vile path.

I was free and ran into the woods. After penetrating a little deeper into the thicket, I sat down among the bushes. From the distance I heard a lot of shooting. Believe it or not, the bullet had not really hurt me. It had gone through all of my clothing and stopped at my shoulder, leaving a mark. I was alone. At last, I was able to rest.

Amazingly, the mentally ill Roberto Muehlenkamp actually believes and has attempted to defend the above nonsense.

If anyone has any doubts about Muehlenkamp being mentally ill, just read the following:

http://holocaustcontroversies.blogspot. ... nt_03.html

[Kingfisher]

What about the guy who could tell the nationality by the colour of the smoke?

[Lohengrin]

Misha Defonseca (a Belgian non-Jew) has written in a bestseller "Surviving with Wolves", she "survived" as a 4-year old girl because she was brought up by wolves.

She and the millions of buyers of this crap need urgent psychiatric care.

[truth]

This is funny.

[Steve F]

Moshe Peer, the little boy who survived 6 gassings, "because children resist better".

The seven year old Jewish girl who killed a German man in a knife fight.

The naked Jewish woman who leaped over a ten-foot barbed-wire fence, wrestled the rifle out of the hands of a German guard, and shot him to death!

The man(I forgot his name) who survived the gas-chamber by breathing through the key-hole!

[twila]

Steve F:

The man(I forgot his name) who survived the gas-chamber by breathing through the key-hole!

I think he was breathing through another hole, if you know what I mean.

[Steve F]

twila said:
"I think he was breathing through another hole, if you know what I mean"

Yeah.....or talking through another hole!

[truth]

You must be kidding... and people, do believe this too?

[Mkk]

See section 6 here:

http://vho.org/GB/Books/dth/fndvalue.html

[Zulu]

See section 6 here:
http://vho.org/GB/Books/dth/fndvalue.html

One of the best testimony I've saw on Youtube. In it there are really amazing "facts" told by an Auschwitz's survivor called Zygmunt Gross. He wrote the book "Zygmunt Gross, a survivor who can't forget".
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IT8dUGF6PtA

Some comments about "things" that man says:

1. Almost everybody was burned alive. 2:44
That's new.
2.. They weren't gassed. 2:46
Incredible! A new revisionist!
3. They were driven by a conveyor belt to the crematorium. 2:49
....Amazing invention first told by the Russians in Jan 1945..
4. No...I've heard _ because afterwards I have seen it all. 2:58
Some doubt or anything?
5. Flames from the chimney of the crematory. 6:05
....As everybody insists on that tale, why not me?.
6. Electricity power was introduced to burn the corpses. 6:23
....Well. Another innovative invention.
7. He never saw a body be cremated. 7:21. So, he never entered a crematorium and ....he speaks just by
hearsay by repeating rumors of the camp.

That kind of embarrassing performance happens generally when an eyewitness is asked some questions on precise details and places.

[SnakeTongue]

Personally, there is nothing more ridiculous than testimonies exposing stories which flies over the face of scientific common sense, mainly when such testimonies is gravely accepted in a court of law:

19 Feb. 46

(...)

I omit two pages of the statement and turn to Page 363. I begin the quotation-it is rather long, but I think I shall have the necessary time for the presentation of the evidence, and I beg to draw the attention of Your Honors to this quotation:

"Q: 'Tell us how the soap was made out of human fat at the Danzig Anatomic Institute.'

"A: 'In the courtyard of the Anatomic Institute a one-story stone building of three rooms was built during the summer of 1943. This building was erected for the- utilization of human bodies and for the boiling of bones. This was officially announced by Professor Spanner. This laboratory was called a laboratory for the fabrication of skeletons, the burning of meat and unnecessary bones. But already during the winter of 1943-44 Professor Spanner ordered us to collect human fat, and not to throw it away. This order was given to Reichert and Borkmann.

" 'In February 1944 Professor Spanner gave me the recipe for the preparation of soap from human fat. According to this recipe 5 kilos of human fat are mixed with 10 liters of water and 500 or 1,000 grams of caustic soda. All this is boiled 2 or 3 hours and then cooled. The soap floats to the surface while the water and other sediment remain at the bottom. A bit of salt and soda is added to this mixture. Then fresh water is added, and the mixture again boiled 2 or 3 hours. After having cooled the soap is poured into molds.' "

http://avalon.law.yale.edu/imt/02-19-46.asp

More than a half-century after the ridiculous testimony people still believe in the story:

Holocaust Era Bar Of Soap Handed To Misaskim For Burial

Wednesday, January 26th, 2011 | Filed under Jewish News | Posted by Jasmin

At Misaskim, unexpected and sad realities of life are unfortunately a daily occurrence. But last week, Misaskim was presented with an even more perplexing question than usual: what to do with a bar of soap that many Holocaust survivors believe contains human remains? This rare bar of soap, engraved with the letters RIF, was recently discovered by the Mermelstein family while cleaning up the apartment of their aging uncle, Yosef Weinberger.

http://www.alljewishlinks.com/holocaust ... or-burial/

[Steve F]

SnakeTongue said:

"Holocaust Era Bar Of Soap Handed To Misaskim For Burial"

"Here lyes the remains of Mr. Bubble, and Mr. Clean"

[Steve F]

"‘In the camp there was a cage with a bear and an eagle,’ he said. ‘Every day, they would throw a Jew in there. The bear would tear him apart and the eagle would pick at his bones.’"

Why didn't the bear eat the eagle? Is it because Mother Nature isn't welcome in eyewitness testimony?

"first artificially fertilize women at Auschwitz, then gas them"

Two!.....Two!.....Two Jews in one!

"mass murder by tree cutting: forcing people to climb trees, then cutting the trees down"

"Mommy.....I want to join the Nazi Party and become a Lumberjack just like Daddy, when I grow up"

"delayed-action poison gas that allowed the victims to leave the gas chambers and walk to the mass graves by themselves"

[Callahan]

I think I found the jackpot:

Examples of Absurd Claims Regarding the Alleged National Socialist Genocide[355]

-child surviving six gassings in a gas chamber that never existed;[356]
-woman survived three gassings because Nazis kept running out of gas;[357]
-fairy tale of a bear and an eagle in a cage, eating one Jew per day;[358]
-mass graves expelling geysers of blood;[359]
-erupting and exploding mass graves;[360]
-soap production from human fat with imprint "RIF " – ‘Reine Juden Seife’ (pure Jewish soap), solemn burial of soap;[361]
-the SS made sausage in the crematoria out of human flesh;[362]
-lampshades, book covers, driving gloves for SS officers, saddles, riding breeches, house slippers, and ladies handbags of human skin;[363]
-pornographic pictures on canvasses made of human skin;[364]
- mummified human thumbs were used as light switches in the house of Ilse Koch, wife of KL commander Koch (Buchenwald);[365]
-production of shrunken heads from bodies of inmates;[366]
-acid or boiling-water baths to produce human skeletons;[367]
-muscles cut from the legs of executed inmates contracted so strongly that they made the buckets jump about;[368]
-an SS-father potshooting babies thrown into the air while 9-year old SS-daughter applauds and shrieks: "Papa, do it again; do it again, Papa!"[369]
-Jewish children used by Hitler-Youth for target practice;[370]
-wagons disappearing on an incline into the underground crematoria in Auschwitz (such facilities never existed);[371]
-forcing prisoners to lick stairs clean, and collect garbage with their lips;[372]
-injections into the eyes of inmates to change their eye color;[373]
-first artificially fertilize women at Auschwitz, then gas them;[374]
-torturing people in specially mass-produced "torture boxes" made by Krupp;[375]
-torturing people by shooting at them with wooden bullets to make them talk;[376]
-smacking people with special spanking machines;[377]
-killing by drinking a glass of liquid hydrogen cyanide (which, scientifically considered, evaporates quickly and would endanger those who pouring it into said glass);[378]
-killing people with poisoned soft drinks;[379]
-underground mass extermination in enormous rooms, by means of high voltage electricity;[380]
-blast 20,000 Jews into the twilight zone with atomic bombs;[381]
-killing in vacuum chamber, hot steam or chlorine gas;[382]
-mass murder in hot steam chamber;[383]
-mass murder by tree cutting: forcing people to climb trees, then cutting the trees down;[384]
-killing a boy by forcing him to eat sand;[385]
-gassing Soviet POWs in a quarry;[386]
-gas chambers on wheels in Treblinka, which dumped their victims directly into burning pits; delayed-action poison gas that allowed the victims to leave the gas chambers and walk to the mass graves by themselves;[387]
-rapid-construction portable gas chamber sheds;[388]
-beating people to death, then carrying out autopsies to see why they died;[389]
-introduction of Zyklon gas into the gas chambers of Auschwitz through shower heads or from steel bottles;[390]
-electrical conveyor-belt executions;[391]
-bashing people’s brains in with a pedal-driven brain-bashing machine while listening to the radio;[392]
-cremation of bodies in blast furnaces;[393]
-cremation of human bodies using no fuel at all;[394]
-skimming off boiling human fat from open-air cremation fires;[395]
-mass graves containing hundreds of thousands of bodies, removed without a trace within a few weeks; a true miracle of improvisation on the part of the Germans;[396]
-killing 840,000 Russian POWs at Sachsenhausen, and burning the bodies in 4 portable ovens;[397]
-removal of corpses by means of blasting, i.e., blowing them up;[398]
-SS bicycle races in the gas chamber of Birkenau;[399]
-out of pity for complete strangers – a Jewish mother and her child – an SS-man leaps into the gas chamber voluntarily at the last second in order to die with them;[400]
-blue haze after gassing with hydrogen cyanide (which is colorless);[401]
-singing of national anthems and the Communist International by the victims in the gas chamber; evidence of atrocity propaganda of Communist origin;[402]
-a twelve-year old boy giving an impressive and heroic speech in front of the other camp children before being ‘gassed’;[403]
-filling the mouths of victims with cement to prevent them from singing patriotic or communist songs.[404]

References begin here:
http://www.vho.org/GB/Books/dth/fndvalue.html#ftn355

More testimony:
http://web.archive.org/web/200508300237 ... sense.html

*EDIT*: Just realized this is the same section as what Mkk posted above... I apparently cannot read.